Jan. 20th, 2010

rjtremor: (BT's Blue Skies)
Yep, I'm actually posting an entry, this is not an illusion. Truth be told, I keep telling myself I need to use it more and I keep saying I will, but yeah, I suck at stuff like that. Either way... I still live, yep, life goes on. So where do I stand in that life right now? Well...

Still no job, though I'm going to check out the career center tomorrow after I go over and take a test to try being in the Census taker armada. It's bad enough in this town though that McDonalds isn't even hiring, nor have they for the past 9 months after I quit to try and move up north(for those who don't know, yeah, I did try and bolt... heck, I started down the road, but was so dang broken up from drama between me and the folks, I just couldn't do it.). The job market here is pretty much non-existent. I've considered the community college on FinAid route lately, would be better than what I do now, which is nothing, but I just don't know what I'd be going after for courses.

Still have not gone anywhere or done anything since MFM '08, nor have I seen anyone(I don't really count the attempted move and seeing RJ Coon and Rollie, t'was not a fun sort of visit after all) since then. I wish I were going to FC, was even offered plane tix by a friend, but with everything going on with my folks, planes being threatened, and the fact I don't want to completely depend on others to pay for hotel space and meals and my con access, etc etc etc, I didn't make plans to go. I should have gotten back with him at least about it, and for that I feel like a dork, but yeah.

My car has been bought by the folks, so they took care of any loan worries I had. Dad insists he's gonna repair the thing and enjoy it a bit, but I'm to the point where I feel it just needs to go. He's not the same as he was 4... 5 years ago, so yeah. Speaking of which...

I've been forced to think about my health a great deal lately, and how my body's feeling. I don't talk about these things with others because I don't wanna get anyone all worried, but I'll admit, I've started having concerns about things like skin cancer and such 'cause of how much I've sunburned in my life. I'd like to get things checked out, but I don't know if a free clinic would do such stuff, and I guess I'm a little doc shy, plus I don't wanna worry the folks more than they already do.

Back at the end of '09, I ended up having both of my computers fizzle on me. One shut off and wouldn't turn back on, the other wasn't happy on start-up, and I ended up imploding myself because I had a lack of money and a lack of knowledge on exactly what to do to fix them, plus any possible fixes I could have tried were self-sabotaged by my lack of confidance. I ended up with a computer from guildies on WoW that actually isn't too bad, but could use some customizing eventually. It's an Inspiron 5150, 2 gigs of ram(DDR2 800s in 533 slots), 160 gig hard drive, but the PSU is only 300w, so I can't use my nice 8800gt video card right now.

I do say there's one positive I can mention tonight though. Tonight on Twitter there was some talk about the new single from a music artist I've come to say is my favorite since I first listened to his stuff so many years ago... BT's newest single's out for his sing "Suddenly", and I noticed the discussion while in the middle of raiding in WoW, yay Icecrown Citadel. I made the comment "Crap, broke and can't buy right now. Me is sad panda. *frown*" only to get a reply and RT from him saying to e-mail his team and he'd buy it for me personally. I'm sure there was a sunrise for a few seconds 'cause I just blushed my face off. I e-mailed, and ended up with it gifted to me from the man, personally. I'm still in shock a little bit, but I guess this is what got me to break the silence, 'cause I wanna pass the word along - go to iTunes or Amazon and buy this single. It's a radio edit, and 5 remixes, 2 particular remixers being Ferry Corsten and rock-techno outfit Celldweller. I do admit the lyrics ring with me a great deal too, heh. And for what it's worth, Youtube came through. If you like it, buy it. The guitar at 2:30 or so is awesome, IMHO.

So yeah, there's my life as it is right now, for the most part. I'm sure I've missed details and whatnot, but this WALL of text should say it for the most part.

I know I lost a couple of friends in '09, along with a lot of other things. "Survival of rhe Fittest" may not be completely true. I'm not the fittest, but I survive, but it's only because I know that God must have some purpose for me and because I know I have friends and people that care about me, really and truly. I know I personally MUST do better for myself in 2010. This is a new decade, along with a new year.

Maybe I'll post more public entries. Who knows. Anyway, love ya all. Like I always say, be good to yerselves.

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