Dec. 17th, 2005 11:28 pm
rjtremor: (The fingers)
[personal profile] rjtremor
For anyone wondering how I'm doing and how I'll be doing the next few days, here's a little song list to make the point clear.

1. Metallica - The Shortest Straw
2. Pat Bentar - Invincible
3. Soil - Remember
4. Pet Shop Boys - Birthday Boy
5. Kosheen - Hungry
6. Spineshank - Beginning of the End
7. Rise Against - Paper Wings
8. 4 Strings - Take Me Away(Into The Night)
9. Phantom Planet - Lonely Day
10. Phantom Planet - California
11. Trust Company - Falling Apart
12. Megadeth - 1,000 Times Goodbye
13. The Cure - More Than This
14. My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay(I Promise)
15. SR-71 - Goodbye

You should be able to get the picture. Needless to say my plans to go to FC are shot down, at the moment. I won't bring it up with the folks again. I'm going to wait to see what happens, and see if they do their trademark mind-changing. If they do, they'll be the one eating the cost for the tickets. A tiger and a wolf offered to do so, but my folks think there's something wrong with that. Being my good little obediant-son-self that I am, I'm not going to just go anyway. I should, because I have every right to choose what I do for my own life, but y'know... look where it's got me so far. But you know, I still have the choice, and the right to choose.

I wish I had my car. I wish I had money. I wish I could give them no excuse to make me feel guilty or conflicted. I hope they regret the way they treat me one day. Tonight, I finally out and said something I felt I've needed to stay for a long long time. My dad said that my friends are manipulating me, my life, my choices. Before he closed the door, I said "You're manipulating my life, too." And it's true. It isn't being a parent anymore. It's being a puppeteer, and I'm sick of being tangled in the heartstrings, feeling like a failure all the while. I've felt like this for a long, long time, and this old hat's gotta go.

And there you have... the REST of the story.

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